Well, first of all congrats to me for reaching my 101st post (yes, the last one was my 100th!!)...
Is marriage detrimental to the hobby called 'blogging'? So, many blogs that I used to enthusiastically follow, have died a sudden death after the authors got married.
Even worse is when people have painfully deleted or made their blogs 'private'...
So, coming back to the question, is marriage detrimental to the hobby called 'blogging'? One argument can be that blogging is a sand-bag for loners, so once a person is married, they dont need unknown audiences over the web; they have just earned the right to torture one single person with all their monologues...
Another reason can be that they no longer want to share their lives.... they don't have much that can be 'shared' anymore ;)...
Whats your take dear readers??
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Monday, May 11, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
For better or for worse?
Singlehood. Independence. Fun. Friends. Love. Romance. High. Marriage. Couple. Family. Responsibilities. Compromises. Changes. Adjustments. Busy. Trapped. Lost. Different.
Is marriage a progression from a fun-filled life to a sad one? If the answer is a definite yes, why get married? Perhaps girls marry for stability and security; and guys?? Why should they get married. In fact why should even girls get married!! Why!! So many of my friends and cousins have got married recently. Each says life is 'different' after marriage (and they say it with a sad 'gone are those days' kind of tone)... My question is if marriage worsens one's life... why get married? I am about to get get married (Thank you Lord!) in a couple of months and when I see all these married people around me trapped under the burden of the societal pressures and norms... I get a little scared and ask myself time and again: "Are all marriages like this? Should I expect the same from my marriage too?".... All rational decisions are made towards betterment of one's current state; I am marrying by choice.... I am looking forward to my married life... no doubt there will be difficulties and changes but overall I hope our (me n ofcourse my A) marriage makes us happier. If it does not, probably we would have done some definite damage to our lives by getting married.
Is marriage a progression from a fun-filled life to a sad one? If the answer is a definite yes, why get married? Perhaps girls marry for stability and security; and guys?? Why should they get married. In fact why should even girls get married!! Why!! So many of my friends and cousins have got married recently. Each says life is 'different' after marriage (and they say it with a sad 'gone are those days' kind of tone)... My question is if marriage worsens one's life... why get married? I am about to get get married (Thank you Lord!) in a couple of months and when I see all these married people around me trapped under the burden of the societal pressures and norms... I get a little scared and ask myself time and again: "Are all marriages like this? Should I expect the same from my marriage too?".... All rational decisions are made towards betterment of one's current state; I am marrying by choice.... I am looking forward to my married life... no doubt there will be difficulties and changes but overall I hope our (me n ofcourse my A) marriage makes us happier. If it does not, probably we would have done some definite damage to our lives by getting married.
Friday, March 6, 2009
News News News!!
Well, the News is that I recently got a piece of jewellery as gift... though that in itself doesn't make it worthy for news, there is a little addendum to that: that jewellery is supposed to be worn on a particular finger of my left hand.... Ahem ahem, yes you got it right... I got engaged on Feb 20th :)
It was a small family gathering of about 40 people (well, those aren't many considering there were two families). A bit of cultural confusion for my family and ME TOO!... But I guess thats what inter-caste, 'inter-region' (I am dilli (/UP) ki kudi and he is a Bengali boy) marriages are made of...
Would regret the fact that I was well 'not in control' - I was nervous, 'not my own self', confused, embarassed. And then I was waiting for him to drop in and take the charge, but he was probably in the same level of shock as I was... well, inspite of being my super-hero, he is humane too!!
So, the ceremony somehow was mixed, I enjoyed parts of it and few other parts..umm... but I am very happy with the end-result!!!
It was a small family gathering of about 40 people (well, those aren't many considering there were two families). A bit of cultural confusion for my family and ME TOO!... But I guess thats what inter-caste, 'inter-region' (I am dilli (/UP) ki kudi and he is a Bengali boy) marriages are made of...
Would regret the fact that I was well 'not in control' - I was nervous, 'not my own self', confused, embarassed. And then I was waiting for him to drop in and take the charge, but he was probably in the same level of shock as I was... well, inspite of being my super-hero, he is humane too!!
So, the ceremony somehow was mixed, I enjoyed parts of it and few other parts..umm... but I am very happy with the end-result!!!
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Flashback 2....
Tuesday, 7 August, 2007
Why do people write blog?
Why do people write blog?
Is it because they want to write or they want to share? Or is it because they want to express (well, I understand this is somewhat similar to the first option i.e. 'write')... Or is it because they have spare time in office...
Like all good questions in life, this one too doesn't have a definite answer. But I guess its the third one. or the second.... ummm, i think its the fifth - i.e. No definite reason - How stupid A!
________________
Friday, 11 May, 2007
The painter
Tell me what am I supposed to do… My dear Ganesha is flowering blessings on me, right at the time when I was writing myself off...
_______________________
Friday, 4 May, 2007
The artist...
Unbelievable - that’s the adjective that comes to my mind when I think about life…
And unpredictable - Right from the time when we are little kids we hear people say these things about life.
But now, I am really beginning to understand the reasons behind it.
Past two & a half years have changed my life in a big way. My thought process is no longer simple, my soul no longer unhurt… Life is like some odd, confused strokes by some amateur painter….But somewhere I believe that that painter is too great to make mistakes, so I look up to him and not say anything. I think he already knows what I can't even say.
PS: Apologies for using 'HE' for a gender neutral 'artist'. Read as She/ He
________________
Tuesday, 1 May, 2007
Disclaimer to the argument
I don’t really believe in the argument in the bigger 'sphere' of things….. Read it carefully, it only talks about 'Search in…'
There are no 'collective decisions' in world. Whenever people talk about collective decisions, decision is taken by only one party*, rest 'n-1' abstain from decisions…
**** a party can have more than one individual but their interests are already common even before the discussions start*
____________________
Tuesday, 1 May, 2007
Argument: Search procedures involved with an arranged marriage are better than love ones.
Argument:
Search procedures involved with an arranged marriage are better than love ones.
Support theory:
Arranged marriages are like an optimization algorithm. Each partner searches 'n' number of nodes before finalizing on a target. At the end of the match-making, each person (read 'Family') is satisfied because he/ she knows that they can't get better than this. In short, they know that this is the best they can get, so they 'have' to be happy with it.
Unlike this, there is a lot of 'cognitive dissonance' in love marriage proposals - lot of 'thinking' and 're-thinking' because somewhere at the back of their mind, each person 'thinks' that he 'deserves' more; this increases (manifold) the chances of going back on so-called 'commitments'.
There are other points too. Cost of 'search' for a 'love' marriage is much higher than cost of search for an 'arranged marriage'. Pls. note that cost includes cost of time and emotions. For e.g. time spent in 'finding' & courtship is much much more than time spent in printing an advertisement in matrimonial & arranging 'family' meetings. Same for emotional costs: If the option 'A', 'B', 'C' from amongst your shortlisted matrimonial list refuse to marry you, you might brood over it but then it won’t be for long. But if your partner of 'm' months refuses to marry you, you will have to go through a lot of heartburn. Also, there are no additional costs in 'arranged' marriages, like you don't need to fight with your parents. You don't need to fight with the society.
Now the important point. Specially in Indian context, individual lives have no 'value' at all (Pls. note that I am not saying if this is right or wrong). Given the fact that marriages are 'family' matters (& not between individuals), every person in the 'family' has equal voting rights in the decision process. (Though 'un'fortunately they are not equal 'stakeholders' :-) but anyways…) So, if everybody has equal voting rights, it makes sense that they are involved in the 'search' process itself.
PS 1: For those of you who know me well, you might be wondering why an Ayn Rand fan is counting the pros of a 'collective decision'. I would just say that life is not very simple, so even though you might feel that 'individualism' is very important, the other party might not feel the same. So, either choose a partner who too believes in this, or give heed to this argument... cause this is what works with the 'average' people of this world.
PS 2: Ever wonder why people still 'fall' in love?
________________
Friday, 2 February, 2007
Musafir hoon yaaron... na ghar hai na thikana
Life changes so quickly...
World around me is in state of flux these days... people shifting jobs/ cities... getting married... getting engaged... and couples parting.
I was a bit sad that one of my roomie was leaving Bangalore and moving to Chennai. It felt just like yesterday that I met her..Then one of my friends remarked, "...hum log mussafir hain..". Thats was so apt... Its like meeting people on the journey. The only difference is that we have been together for a little while longer.
We are so close to so many people around. Never know what future has in store for each one of us.
I blink and the world has changed...
__________
Thursday, 11 January, 2007
“Duty Demands Nothing in Turn. How can the world recompense rain?” - Thirukkural (Ancient Tamil literature)
Wish I could be that good... not too demand anything...As a child I was very much like that. But probably not now. I have overgrown my good self.
Expectations get formed on their own, involuntarily. And when one does something good and nobody acknowledges it... It doesn't feel right... It pinches somewhere.
But why did I do it? For 'recognition'? Not really. Did it just like that. So, it should not pinch. Move on A*. Keep walking. Keep doing what you feel like. Keep smiling.
Why do people write blog?
Why do people write blog?
Is it because they want to write or they want to share? Or is it because they want to express (well, I understand this is somewhat similar to the first option i.e. 'write')... Or is it because they have spare time in office...
Like all good questions in life, this one too doesn't have a definite answer. But I guess its the third one. or the second.... ummm, i think its the fifth - i.e. No definite reason - How stupid A!
________________
Friday, 11 May, 2007
The painter
Tell me what am I supposed to do… My dear Ganesha is flowering blessings on me, right at the time when I was writing myself off...
_______________________
Friday, 4 May, 2007
The artist...
Unbelievable - that’s the adjective that comes to my mind when I think about life…
And unpredictable - Right from the time when we are little kids we hear people say these things about life.
But now, I am really beginning to understand the reasons behind it.
Past two & a half years have changed my life in a big way. My thought process is no longer simple, my soul no longer unhurt… Life is like some odd, confused strokes by some amateur painter….But somewhere I believe that that painter is too great to make mistakes, so I look up to him and not say anything. I think he already knows what I can't even say.
PS: Apologies for using 'HE' for a gender neutral 'artist'. Read as She/ He
________________
Tuesday, 1 May, 2007
Disclaimer to the argument
I don’t really believe in the argument in the bigger 'sphere' of things….. Read it carefully, it only talks about 'Search in…'
There are no 'collective decisions' in world. Whenever people talk about collective decisions, decision is taken by only one party*, rest 'n-1' abstain from decisions…
**** a party can have more than one individual but their interests are already common even before the discussions start*
____________________
Tuesday, 1 May, 2007
Argument: Search procedures involved with an arranged marriage are better than love ones.
Argument:
Search procedures involved with an arranged marriage are better than love ones.
Support theory:
Arranged marriages are like an optimization algorithm. Each partner searches 'n' number of nodes before finalizing on a target. At the end of the match-making, each person (read 'Family') is satisfied because he/ she knows that they can't get better than this. In short, they know that this is the best they can get, so they 'have' to be happy with it.
Unlike this, there is a lot of 'cognitive dissonance' in love marriage proposals - lot of 'thinking' and 're-thinking' because somewhere at the back of their mind, each person 'thinks' that he 'deserves' more; this increases (manifold) the chances of going back on so-called 'commitments'.
There are other points too. Cost of 'search' for a 'love' marriage is much higher than cost of search for an 'arranged marriage'. Pls. note that cost includes cost of time and emotions. For e.g. time spent in 'finding' & courtship is much much more than time spent in printing an advertisement in matrimonial & arranging 'family' meetings. Same for emotional costs: If the option 'A', 'B', 'C' from amongst your shortlisted matrimonial list refuse to marry you, you might brood over it but then it won’t be for long. But if your partner of 'm' months refuses to marry you, you will have to go through a lot of heartburn. Also, there are no additional costs in 'arranged' marriages, like you don't need to fight with your parents. You don't need to fight with the society.
Now the important point. Specially in Indian context, individual lives have no 'value' at all (Pls. note that I am not saying if this is right or wrong). Given the fact that marriages are 'family' matters (& not between individuals), every person in the 'family' has equal voting rights in the decision process. (Though 'un'fortunately they are not equal 'stakeholders' :-) but anyways…) So, if everybody has equal voting rights, it makes sense that they are involved in the 'search' process itself.
PS 1: For those of you who know me well, you might be wondering why an Ayn Rand fan is counting the pros of a 'collective decision'. I would just say that life is not very simple, so even though you might feel that 'individualism' is very important, the other party might not feel the same. So, either choose a partner who too believes in this, or give heed to this argument... cause this is what works with the 'average' people of this world.
PS 2: Ever wonder why people still 'fall' in love?
________________
Friday, 2 February, 2007
Musafir hoon yaaron... na ghar hai na thikana
Life changes so quickly...
World around me is in state of flux these days... people shifting jobs/ cities... getting married... getting engaged... and couples parting.
I was a bit sad that one of my roomie was leaving Bangalore and moving to Chennai. It felt just like yesterday that I met her..Then one of my friends remarked, "...hum log mussafir hain..". Thats was so apt... Its like meeting people on the journey. The only difference is that we have been together for a little while longer.
We are so close to so many people around. Never know what future has in store for each one of us.
I blink and the world has changed...
__________
Thursday, 11 January, 2007
“Duty Demands Nothing in Turn. How can the world recompense rain?” - Thirukkural (Ancient Tamil literature)
Wish I could be that good... not too demand anything...As a child I was very much like that. But probably not now. I have overgrown my good self.
Expectations get formed on their own, involuntarily. And when one does something good and nobody acknowledges it... It doesn't feel right... It pinches somewhere.
But why did I do it? For 'recognition'? Not really. Did it just like that. So, it should not pinch. Move on A*. Keep walking. Keep doing what you feel like. Keep smiling.
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