Friday, September 28, 2007

nice one...

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” - Anais Nin

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

...a dull day.

Feeling a bit restless today. Like some of those rare dull days during our school summer vacations, when you are not allowed to go out and you don't know what to do at home... when you feel like doing a lot of things but you can't decide where exactly to release your energy... when your eyes are alert but mind is lost....

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

meri nayi rachna :-)

These days I have been blogging a bit less (less and more are always relative though)... But my hindi blog is even more slower than this one... So, I thought I should post one of my recent compositions there....


This is just an observation. I am not generalizing at all to include the whole 'guys' universe; in fact its a very recent observation... specific to some of the groups around me these days

Its like this: Guys are like Lions. They have clear demarcation of 'their' territories (read 'girls'). So, if Ms. A is Mr. AA's girl; mind you, A need not be AA's girlfriend, it can be a one sided liking, or even just a one-sided 'time-pass interest'..... So, if A is AA's 'girl', its an unsaid rule that any other male member in the group (say Mr. BB)should not even be her 'friend' (leave alone 'liking' her!). What I mean by friend' here is that Mr. BB is not allowed to call up the girl w.o. any genuine purpose, can not invite the girl to a party/ outing, should not talk excessively to the girl (specially when AA is not around), should not initiate conversation with the girl... Basically, he should be nothing beyond 'being on talking terms'... all these are unsaid rules. And if BB breaks these unsaid rules, BB is betraying AA. AA will see this as a 'challenge', a 'betrayal'. Its irrelevant how deep is AA's interest in A, its about 'ethics'!! [:o]...

Woa! Not that I understand people very well and though I had heard about such things, witnessing it in full glory was very entertaining indeed!

Friday, September 14, 2007

work and blog

Hardly any blogging this week though I had so much of spare time... Why is that I always itch to blog when I have loads of work; and the itch is over once I have more time!! weird!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Monday, September 10, 2007

Neck wraps and all that jazz...

A nice weekend. Apart from my weekend dancing schedule, tried bowling for the first time - was fun. I think few more trips and I shall soon be hooked on to the game.

Salsa class was fun again. My instructor is very enthusiastic towards teaching and thats one of the reasons why I really look forward to the classes. He continues teaching long after the actual class is over, though only few really keen students (like me :-)) stay back for his 'extra sessions'. So, I learnt some more fundoo steps this time - something called a 'neck wrap' and few others 'unnamed' but amazing moves...

I have really started loving salsa. Its such a sensuous and beautiful dance (though some of the steps get embarassing at times, specially in the class!). But those small glitches apart, I thoroughly enjoy every minute of it. I wonder how much will I enjoy if I do it with full 'emotions' sometime (its can be such a passionate and seductive dance!) in my life.

That reminds me of one of my random thoughts. I would love my partner to be a good dancer or at least enjoy dancing. Else he won't be able to understand my passion for dancing. And also I will never be able to perform that dream salsa sequence ;-)

Friday, September 7, 2007

Ek Geet Hijar da

Ek Geet Hijar Da
Ajj asaan ve bolna / Today I shall speak
Ajj kise na tokna / Today I shan't be stopped
Lekh ve jindrhi da / The script of destiny
Ajj asaan ve bhogna / Today I shall live it

Na roveen meet moiyan te mere / Don't cry at my death my Friend
Na paavin vainh moiyan te / Don't sing mournful tunes
Tu gaaveen geet / Sing instead this song
Ek geet / This Song

Kal jo beet gaya / Yesterday, all that passed
Na beeteya O jo beet gaya / Hasn't passed but remains with me
Sool mere seene / A thorn in my heart
Vairi khob gaya / Driven by Foe

Keetey main sab chaare / I've used all options
Saarey upaa haare / All cures have failed
Ehda 'laaj bas ek geet / The only cure is this song
Ek geet hijar da / A song of longing

Ek geet hijar da / A song of longing
Ek geet sabar da / A song of restraint
Ek geet karam da / A song of kindness
Ek geet reham da / A song of mercy

Ek geet milan da / A song of union
Ek geet balan da / A song of burning
Ek geet gunaah da / A song of Sin
Ek geet panaah da / A song of pardon

Ek geet, Ek geet, Ek geet / A song, A song, A song

Hunh na kujh disda / Now I see nothing
Hunh na kujh sujhda / Now I can't grasp anything
Zehar naseebaan da / Since the poison of the fate
Ajj asaan jo peeta / Has been mine to drink

Sa'te taras kareen / Have mercy on me
Na lekha mera mangii / Don't ask for my liabilities
Ve tu sunii eh mera geet / Just listen this song of mine

Vekheen zara / Look here
Na hove kharaab / Don't let it go waste
Boohey tere, hanju mera / This teardrop of mine
Ho jaave tere dar te manzoor / Let it be accepted at your gate
Mere Huzoor / My Master

Eh geet hijar da / This song of longing
Eh geet sabar da / This song of restraint
Eh geet karam da / This song of kindness
Eh geet reham da / This song of mercy

Eh geet milan da / This song of union
Eh geet balan da / This song of burning
Eh geet gunaah da / This song of Sin
Eh geet panaah da / This song of pardon

Not sure how many of you know about Rabbi Shergill. You might be able to recall if I tell you that he was the singer of the famour 'Bulla ki jaana' song...

I first listened to his full album around one and half years back. Everytime I listen to his songs, they become more and more 'a part of me'. His style is sufi-rock with a touch of folk. The lyrics are beautiful and some of the thoughts and words used are quite uncommon. His music is really a class apart.

The full album 'Rabbi'(2005) is simply awesome.. Bulla ki jaana and tere bin have already been hits, but even the lesser known songs are superb.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

I me myself

One of my friends asked me to write a paragraph about myself. I tried to think. Thought hard but I don't know what to write. Seems like I have lost all awareness about myself. I wasn't like this….

Am I ugly or average? Am I intelligent or average or dumb? Am I happy or sad? Am I a 'good' girl or 'bad'?

Am I cheerful or sad? Am I outgoing or reserved?

Am I becoming very 'closed'/ secretive these days or am I looking for empathy?

Do I really get happy at times, or is it just me trying to encourage myself towards more positive thinking?
And when I feel low these days, I wonder if I am really sad or am I trying to behave sad… The difference between reality and thoughts is becoming blurred by the day…

…I used to be a narcisist. Have I actually started hating myself or is it just a perception again?

Who am I? What do I really want? Where is my life going?

Am I lost? Or have I lost myself?

One thing is for sure, this is not the way I want to be…. I need to find answers for all these questions for… myself.