Saturday, November 20, 2010

Colours, brushes, palettes... .

Hey ppl! I am back after a long break – and believe me I have been planning to do this post since months now!.... And guarantee you something which you have rarely seen on this blog before!! i.e. the artistic side of me… !

Here is one of my  recent DIY (do-it-yourself) projects... (there are slew of them in the offing!) 

Embossed work on Aluminium sheet. 
Size - ~ 20" X 26" (if I correctly remember ;))
Time taken: ~10 yrs (Ya, I see your expression "!!!???"..... did the embossing when I was in school, and then nothing happened for ~10 yrs.... then one fine day so happened that my dearest mom was hell bent on proving my lethargy and she pointed this as an example to AM. AM obviously seized the opportunity and pestered me day-in-day-out to paint and mount it....  He in turn was motivated by the fact that (we think) it will fit well into our drawing space**.... So, here it is.

Comments most welcome!

Friday, October 29, 2010

The expensive gift that I didn't like :(

How is it?!, said an excited, loving AM.
Hmm, 'you tell me how it looks on me!', said a trying-to-look-excited', hesitant me, trying to hide my real emotion....

Well, the fact of the matter was straight, I didn't like the diamond pendant-earring set that I was just gifted. Secondly, the fact that we have been trying to save for our house down payment, such an expenditure seemed so unwarranted to me, esp. given the fact that I am not too gungho about gold from a fashionista perspective (its a great investment though!).

But somehow I managed to evade it.... but not for long though, an hour later as AM and me were driving down to drop me to office, he asked again 'I think you didn't like it too much'.... that was enough to start me off in clarification of 'why I didn't like it'...  and in the process I did manage to make it clear 'I DID N'T LIKE IT!' .....sometimes its so rightly advisable to shut-one's crappy opinion to self... but I didn't and here I I spoilt it all for him in so many words... :( :(

ultimately, he did add in frustration.... 'AS, you are such a difficult person to gift!'.... well, which girl would cringe at a loving 30k gold jewellery gift on Karwachauth'!! ??probably I am.

PS: I did add in the middle of the conversation somewhere that 30k could have bought lenses for my 'desired' SLR camera! .... and also managed to ask him 'how much making did they charge on the jewellery?'

Thursday, September 30, 2010

A distressed Hindu

The 'secular' parties tell us: please do not fight for religion. They tell us that castes are a 'reality', so must be included in population consensus, so "Aye all, please declare your castes". but but but, "Do not believe these religious fanatics, rise above religion.... Religion is an impediment to peace & progress". The English media tells us "that the youth no longer care for Ayodhya", yes may be they don't, they are now fighting for reservations for 'their caste', well, that gets some people 'undeserved' jobs, and gets the politicians 'votes' .... The Secular parties tell us that religion is divisive whilst caste is a reality (though I would have thought the reverse)... The non-rightist parties tell us that "We owe these reservations to a vast majority of people who have been oppressed since centuries by 'Upper class' hindus"....  (and only in India, we have Dalit muslims & christians too, Voila, thats great, who says we have lost the path to innovation!.... So, basically, you convert and retain your "Hindu caste"...  But thats a debate for another day...)
 I do know that each one can have their view.. so here is mine.... I know that what I say here is what an educated, city-elite Indian is probably ashamed to say today.... I regret the way it happened, I would regret if there is a single drop of blood on the street, I do not support the way the structure was demolished.... but I somehow feel that the Temple is rightfully ours, Its not a Mecca/ Medina for Muslims, its just a structure build amoungst the thousands of structures build by muslim rulers over hindu temples....I think the secular India owes this to its Hindus - Hindus who since centuries have been traumatized and trampled by the powerful muslim invaders. Hindus who have no significant place of their own but this Bharatvarsh.... Bharat whose eastern & western sides were blown away, and the whose head continues to be pulled away by Muslim fanatics.... This time India owes it to its Bharat, this time India owes it to its Hindus. 

I do not know how it can be achieved without shedding blood, and thats probably the biggest irony of it all...  given a choice, I would still cowardly choose peace to 'my right' ...... and in the same breath, I do understand that the dilemma courts face, I know faith has no  importance in the eyes of a court, and I respect that... but if I try to look from the timeline perspective of several millenia... I do somehow feel that it would be so wrong for that place to be taken away from Hindus. So, here I am, caught in the dilemma of peace and 'what I think is right'...  

- A proud Indian and a distressed Hindu

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Are you anxious? I am.

Are you anxious? I am.
My political views: Moderate rightist.
and what do I mean by that? It means that I am a proud Hindu but I do believe that everybody has a right to practice their religion. All religions are true. However, why do I call myself a rightist then? Because I think that some amount of 'hardline' Hindu elements are required to counterbalance the politics of appeasement that we have been subject to under decades of Congress rule. So, I am caught, I do not believe in 'militant' Hinduism, however I think that some amount of 'resolute'/ 'strong'/ 'stubborn' Hindu elements are a 'necessary evil' for 'True Secularism' to come to front - wherein the State wouldn't care about your religion.

My qualms with the Indian Muslims
However, I think that the Muslim population in India (& across the world) has a typical trait. They partition the country they live in. Be it British-India, Czechoslovakia, erstwhile USSR or now Kashmir; somehow their Muslim identity always overcomes the identity of the Nation that they live in - They always seem to be asking for a 'separate land' (rather than for say development).
Now, I agree thats too much of generalization, so I would add some specific points to it. Religions, just like people, need to change according to times. Christianity has 'moderatized', so did Hinduism, and so did Buddhism; however, the Muslims (and I can say that about India) have had no meaningful reforms. So, in a way, its an anachronistic faith in current times. This has caused problems, since there are no 'voice' for 'moderate muslims' (I do hope there are some).
Muslims are a militant lot - I do understand that this is a vicious cycle of poverty, illiteracy, backwardness, militancy, alienation from society, poverty, illit..... and so on..... However, that doesn't change that Muslims are a militant lot. and sometimes 'Force' can only be dealt with 'Force'...  or a revolution from within. With no 'internal reforms' in sight, its just remains 'Force' vs 'Force'

Are you anxious? I am.
Ayodhya judgement is awaited tomorrow. and I am anxious, very anxious.

Thursday, September 9, 2010


Oh, I know how you feel dear... I know how you are shaking, I know your crying alone in the far away country...
I know the way your heart is ripped, I know how your soul is torn... 
I don't really know what you desire, but I do know that you are worn.
Don't give up honey, be strong... like all moments in life, this is a phase it will pass.. 
I am there for you :)

"Don't take life too seriously, after all nobody gets out alive anyway!". Gaze to the deity that you have worshipped for years, he doesn't look like a deceiter, does he? Believe me, he is leading you though you don't know.


Wednesday, September 1, 2010

arz kiya hai

Mar 2010... unhone likha... 

Na mails ke jawab ate, mobile par sirf callertune hi sunte, 
Na mails ke jawab ate, mobile par sirf callertune hi sunte, 
Aye mere humsafar, sitaronki bheer mai, 
reh gaye  hum apne chaand ko dhoondte!

PS: Might not rhyme well, but it did time well

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Valet Parking

 - Where is the parking?
- You can leave it here Madam.
- No, its ok, I will park.
- The valet is coming and he can park for you. If you want to park, you would have to park a little farther down that lane.
- Oh, is the valet parking free?
- (he switched to hindi) haan madam, yeh nih-shulk hai.
- oh ok, thanks, could you please get it parked for me.

Now, three years earlier, I would have scoffed at somebody trying to save the 100 bucks (this is the amount that many seven-star hotels in Delhi charge) for valet services.

Today, I did it myself! Reasons that I can think are:
1. I am confident of myself. Yes, I am no longer concerned about what a security guard will think of me! and am more sure now that he won't refuse me entry for asking a question like that! 
 2. 100 Rupee does matter to me more than the slight hitch in asking. As you start spending your own money, you realise the importance of it even more.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


What does it mean? Is it necessarily bad?

Monday, June 28, 2010

Sad & angry

Me is sad.... and angry...

All the excitement of shifting into a new (rented) house has been marred by the current owner refusing to give back our security deposit. Quite a harassing situation I tell ya! Apart from the the fact that we are losing money, the worst thing is the feeling of helplessness ('helplessness' is one feeling that a control-freak like me do not like AT ALL!)...  Just can't accept the fact that he can simply not return our money!!! We are in NO MOOD to give up, less or more, its OUR hard-earned money, and I WANT it BACK :|.

Second the 'honour killings' bother me a lot.... Is this the India our children will grow up in? What is my gotra (my husband's or my father's)? why should my gotra change after marriage? what is gotra anyways and why should it be so paramount?...and what is caste? what is my caste? again, my husband's or my father's.... why should it change anyways.... what would be my kids' caste?? why should it be my husband's caste and not mine ?? do I like it, No....... do I like my husband?... Yes, & I love him too (and very much at that!). Guess the last one is one comforting point that helps me bear the rest of the nonsense that this world is becoming (or may be always was)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Trying to stop my eyelids from giving away the most-common-after-lunch-secret (read 'sleep'), I am trying to type things on to my google page to keep myself engaged... so, I type zxcvbm (try typing that). and I get this as the first in the list.... 

Urban Dictionary: zxcvbnm

people punch these keys on the key board when they get irritated at their computer or have mental problems and believe this is a real word> - Cached - Similar

Visit again...

Ladies & gentleman, you are going to witness some serious interior designing in the coming months. A & me are about to shift to a new house (yeah, its a rented acco, but still OUR home) and my creative urges are itching to burst out. Watch out this space.

Slow down, look, move

Laws of the universe are so true in so very different situations. For example, while driving on a heavy traffic road (which I do for 2 hours daily! no wonder I am deriving learnings from there!), its better to keep a distance from the vehicle ahead, this would give you a view of the neighboring lanes as well; then only one can look for best gaps to drive faster.... trying to accelerate without a direction in mind, doesn't yield much. (Yes, I do change lanes reasonably often while driving, this in India!).

Same is true of life. One should try stepping back, observing his/her self (& his/her life), and then move. Blind races don't yield much, Strategies pay.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Its a beautiful night..... it has a soul of the early dawn as if its hopeful of something. As if the morning rays are hidden somewhere behind the tower of the temple, just waiting for the waking hours to light up the laden sky. Its an expectant night, and a mysterious one; awaking the piscean me. Oh how I love thinking these aimless thoughts, just witnessing the shows of the universe, and 'not thinking' about the more material thoughts of life. (or may be those thoughts aren't really 'material', may be they are too trivial to be thought about!)

I always have this feeling that I should do more with my life. Be more happy, accomplish more, do more things that please me...  its been such a long time that I have done something that really pleases me from within... for the first time I am feeling 'bound' by this marriage.... probably its a lot to do with so many people around (yes, the family visitors are always here!); I am not getting enough of the 'me' time.... and that makes me miss blore so much!!

and here I go turn my back towards the balcony railings and open myself to the sky... what a sky it is.... its 11 30 pm or 4 30 am? I just want to lie on the grass and look towards the sky... want the wind to mess up my hair while I stroll crushing the wet grass under my feet.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Step, trundle, quake.... are you listening?

There are learnings from the book and then there are learnings from experience.

From three jobs and three very different setups, there are several things that I have noticed about good leaders/ managers. Its difficult to cover them all in one post. So, the one that I want to write about today is "being closer to the ground".

The very first thing that this translates into is 'approachability' and 'knowledge of the ever-so-changing-ecosystem'. The more 'distant' you are from your subordinates, the more difficult it becomes to 'know' them,'manage' them, 'lead' them

It also translates into a sense of humility (at least some!). Success is difficult to manage on a personal level. A rapid climb-up in life boosts one's ego to the extent that it becomes really difficult to remain level-headed. And when one's head floats in the sky, well, they become oblivious of whats happening at the ground level... Closer to ground, also means that you understand your people, their motivations, their aspirations, and their individual 'role'in the whole ecosystem.

Being 'closer to the ground' also enables good leaders to see through immediate problems at hand and think about how things 'can evolve' in the future; this mean that the manager would get know when an approaching sound is a footstep, a trundle, or a quake..

Besides all, it lets you remain human....

PS: I am documenting these learnings so that I don't forget them when I need them the most! These are so simple and straightforward things, just that our visions get blurred to the obvious things in life!

PS 2: I love the fact that I am working. I can't imagine myself sitting at home.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

case study

from one of my facebook status messages:

A "I want to do a case study on my new b0$$. He deserves to be documented."
We will need to call in a team of evolutionary psychologists and behavioral genetics experts, to study the causes of his multiple personality disorder and toxicity, and also the deadly combination of his supremely sadistic behavior along with his calculative brilliance.
The case would of course be incomplete without a comprehensive analysis of his superhuman powers of blatantly lying through his teeth w.o. any signs of embarrassment/ guilt/ cognizance."

List of places I want to see in Delhi

(I have already seen some of these before during my childhood)

1. Top on the list is the Phoolon-wala baazar (the flower market) at CP: Obviously one has to be up before dawn to enjoy it in its full glory

2. Humayun tomb
3. Safdarjung tomb
4. Akshardham mandir

and then there are several unexplored heritage buildings that I have seen from a distance but never visited...

and, then there are numerous restaurants and pubs on my 'to do' list!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

.... off for a while

Well, why have I been so off from blogging? because I am so off from extra-curricular stuffs these days (buhuhuuhu.....)

I have got a grinding job, that doesn't really inspire me... have got no saturdays (not even saturday nights!)... all because of a toxic boss! add to that my bf has been down with jaundice for over a month now (well, he has recovered now, but still has been advised rest/ caution for sometime)....

So, basically quite an uninspiring schedule! :(

But I am resolved to change this... how?... i am yet to figure out!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

learning on the job...

Have you seen something and said WOW and then grabbed it... and then realized it was actually YUCKS!

Well, thats how my new b o s s is. So, I like how my job profile looks on paper, and am decently ok with the work conditions, all except my b o s s.

I have historically prefered to use the word 'manager' instead of 'B***' because it sounds like a master-slave relation.. but alas, thats the word I have to (& I am) using today...

My first job gave me an experince of "how good organisations work", " how good managers manage", "how to be a good manager", "how to love your job" etc... 

My biggest learnings these days are "how bad organisations work", "how bad managers operate", "how not to treat your subordinates/ peers", "how to 'show' your non-existent-output"...

Make no mistakes! these are big learnings too! and in a way 'must-know's too... But its like saying 'Difficult situations are the biggest teachers'... well yes, but when you are going through those situations... they are ... well... 'difficult'! (you could replace 'frustrating' for 'difficult' here for me) ....

Readers should expect more about my corporate learnings in the coming posts.... 

Saturday, April 10, 2010

White hair

White hair can actually work in your favour, specially if you are a workaholic, reverence-seeking, office tormentor trying to work your way up-and-wide.

Saturday, April 3, 2010


Oh! how I miss caring for my plants! and how I miss dancing!... and I miss my night shows... all for that SOB boss.... for how long can I bear with this? :(

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


I have joined a new job and my successful stint of 'working with good managers' has cone to an end. He is one of the meanest (if not THE meanest) managers that you would encounter around. More on this later.... 

So, I get this mail from my bf at 9.50 AM:

"Subject: Remember

1. HTC 2. EnY 3. Have fruits 4. Stay cool 5. Use Profanity :)

PS: Obviously the last one is meant for peer discussions/ cribbings only

Friday, March 5, 2010

back in action!

From an MNC environ and investment banking/ research domain, I am now with an Indian construction company (in a corporate finance role)
People have been asking me why did I take this job? Well, it's pretty simple for me to answer, though their attention span doesn't survive my explanation.
So, here am I blogging about it…

I am here to learn. This move was not intended to be a precursor to profile X which can lead to profile Y and then ultimately profile Z.
I am here to learn. Full stop.
I want to work, I want to accomplish something. I want to do something fruitful.
I want 'not to be bored' with my job.
I want to be within an 'action' environment.
in short, I want to learn
And this is a big enough motivation for me.

Now, I understand that this all comes with huge baggage:
An operating company environment is very different than an advisory one, there are people from diverse background and hence diverse 'issues'.
It is a construction company, so office support functions are weak to say the least (I have been trying to procure a rim of A4 sheets for printing since past two days!).
There are semblances of politics at all levels – high, mid, low… and so on…  
And worst of all (and the only one that makes me sad) is the 6 day work week!

But, in spite of all this, I am excited about my work. Though I am being cautious in my excitement. But let's see how it goes! but for now thank you Lord!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Rain :)

Its twilight... I should draw the curtains, close the balcony door and switch on the lights...  not doing so though... the rainbeats would be inaudible then :)

The pregnant sky delivering zillions of young drops to quench our souls, and probably earth's too...

Ooooh, how much I love rains!

PS: there have been very very few, counted occasions when I have really wished rains to stop.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Learnings from a job-seeker

Frequent job changes might or might not be good for your career.... and mind you its not optional at times, there is a bit of luck involved here... The if's that can disturb an ongoing job are numerous: my-new-boss-is-a-sickening-mentally-ill-incorrigible-ba****, -its-recession-time-so-, -we-think-that-you-are-the-worst-employee-that-we-have-seen-in-our-lifetime, or may be a softer...your-performance-is-not-upto-the-mark, -the-company-owner-passed-away-so-we-are-redoing-our-strategy, -you-have-become-expensive-for-us-after-your-promotion-this-year, -we-have-creditors-banging-on-our-door-so-.... mind you I am not making these up, these are all examples of what I have seen happening to my friends/ acquaintances/ colleagues.

But thats not what I was here to talk about.... I want to highlight that a 'job-search', however tedious, irritating, and at times f***ing frustrating process it might be, it does have a positive side to it:

1. You come to know your actual 'market price'; just in case your current salary made you forget that... of course you can be currently over-valued, under-valued.... 

2. You try to revise all the stuff that you read long time ago but were no longer useful for your current profile... its nice to breakaway from the lingo of your current profile and learn about something else

3. You try 'Linked-in'-ing more often

4. You look back to your current job (before the turmoil) and say 'oh, that was nice'.... now you wouldn't have said that when you were actually at that point of time...

5. You look at your CV and suddenly realize - oh hell, its been X years since I graduated!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Happy New Year

I know its been close to 3 months that I have posted anything... I am in the process of getting inspired (to write) so request the readers to wait till then :p